Today, I have continually been filled with so much warmth and love over all the support people have shown me for speaking my mind. Many, many, many times over the course of my 30 years on this planet I have been told I talk too much. Or too loud. Or too passionately. Too, too, too.
As my friend Jessi says, I've always been "very."
As you can imagine, over the course of those 30 years, I've kept my mouth shut or stopped myself in the middle of a rant because of the discomfort it causes the people around me. (I know, probably hard to believe this has been me being quiet.)
I've finally had enough. Today, I realized that I was given this loud voice, this passion, this fascination with the spoken word for a reason. To use it.
Too often, people feel shame for needing help. They feel even more shameful when they actually get it. Being that honest about my situation today made me feel more at peace with the fact that I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Mine is not the only story that needs to be told, though. There are countless others whose situation is far worse than mine, they just don't want to advertise it. I think it's time they did. If only more people stood up and voiced exactly what they feel, without fear of castigation from society, their friends, their church, whoever. What if we all used the voices we were given to make the necessary positive change for our species? What if we all stood up for each other, like a huge family? What if we all took the ideas of those that have sought peace throughout history and made them a reality?
Although, I am aware these may be pipe dreams, given the current state of society. People killing each other over property, publicly ostracizing another for their sexual orientation or religious views. I live in a country where it is acceptable to call a woman you've never even met a slut on a public medium. Hell, someone who did just that had his own cheering squad. What is the world coming to when an entire chunk of the population seems to be alright with all the hate being tossed around like party favors?
After the article I was featured in came out today, people I've never even met were judging me. Most people were really supportive and gave me the warm and fuzzies, but some....some just made an assumption about my character or flat out informed me of all the other services I must be getting because, let's face it, if I put my hand out once, I'm probably not trustworthy enough to be honest about how much I'm getting. One fine gentlemen even said my GPA doesn't prove that I work hard and that I'm probably not going to pay back my student loans after I graduate. Wow. Thank you, sir, for proving my point.
Usually, when people say things like that to me, I freeze. Or get really enraged. Sometimes I cry. But today was different. I did none of these things. I simply thanked the people who supported me and thanked me for sharing, and the ones who decided to be ugly, well, I sent them all my love and wished them to find peace. They're gonna need it.
While I know I may never get all the way down my list of correcting social injustices all over the world (it's really gotten quite out of hand in the last year or two), it doesn't mean I won't at least make a dent in it. There is work to be done and I'm not getting any younger.
